1. Noticing His Love – “Lord, where have You been loving me recently that I haven’t fully noticed or received?” ...

2. Personalizing His Love – “Jesus, show me one gift or moment in my life that was not random—but a personal act of Your love for me.” ...

3. Receiving His Love – “Jesus, what do You want to give me right now that I have not been receiving?” ...

4. His Heart Toward You – “Jesus, what is on Your heart that You want to share with me right now?”

(1) Receiving My Identity from God

Where do I tend to base my worth—achievement, approval, success, appearance, productivity? Do I actually believe that my identity is given by God, or do I still feel like I have to earn it? When I fail, what do I instinctively say to myself?

(2) Awareness of Self-Rejection

In what ways am I harsh, impatient, or critical toward myself? Do I speak to myself in a way that I would never speak to someone I love? Where do I feel like “I am not enough” or “something is wrong with me”?

(3)Receiving Love (from Others and God)

When someone affirms me, do I receive it—or deflect, minimize, or distrust it? Do I feel truly lovable… or do I feel like love must be earned? Is there a part of me that quietly believes God is disappointed in me?

(4) Shame and Interior Conflict

What parts of myself do I most struggle to accept (weakness, emotions, failure, dependence, etc.)? When I make mistakes, do I quickly return to peace—or stay stuck in frustration and shame? Is my discouragement really about offending God—or about my image of myself being shaken?

Projection and Relationships

Is there a type of person that consistently irritates or frustrates me? Could that reaction reveal something I struggle with or reject in myself? When I react strongly to others, what might be happening inside me beneath the surface?

Patience and Mercy Toward Myself

Am I patient with myself in the same way God is patient with me? Do I allow myself to have peace even in the midst of imperfection and growth? What would it look like for me to respond to my failures with trust instead of frustration?

1. Interior Peace

   • Am I at peace with myself? If not, where do I feel unrest or tension? Do I believe that peace is possible even before everything in my life is “fixed”? What seems to disturb my peace most frequently?

2. Balance and Self-Care

   • Am I living in a way that supports peace—rest, balance, attentiveness—or undermines it? Where am I running on stress, imbalance, or depletion? Do I take care of myself in a way that allows me to love others well?

3. Moving Toward Integration

   • What is one area where God may be inviting me to greater acceptance of myself? What would it look like to come into agreement with how God sees me? What is one concrete step I can take this week toward greater interior peace?

1. Avoiding Concrete Love

   Where in my life have I subtly prioritized love of God in a way that allows me to avoid the concrete, costly demands of loving particular people?

2. Cruciform Love

   Jesus commands us to love “as I have loved you.” Where is He inviting me right now into a more cruciform, self-giving love that goes beyond preference, convenience, or emotional inclination?

3. Non-Transactional Love

   In what ways does my love still operate on an implicit economy of exchange—expecting recognition, reciprocity, or interior satisfaction? Where is God inviting me to love more freely?

4. Hope for Others

   Is there someone toward whom I have quietly lost hope—where I no longer truly believe in God’s grace at work in them? How has that affected the way I love them?

5. True Patience

   Where do I resist the deeper meaning of patience—to suffer and endure? In which relationships is God asking me not merely to tolerate, but to bear with others in love?

6. Control vs. Charity

   Do I find myself attempting to control, manage, or “improve” others rather than receiving them as they are? Where might my desire for good be expressed in a way that lacks charity or trust?

7. Interior Love

   What is the habitual tone of my interior life toward others? Where do judgment, irritation, or subtle resentment take root before any external action?

8. Contempt vs. Delight

   In my relationships, where has delight given way to contempt—even in small or hidden ways? Where have I ceased to experience another person as a gift?

9. Presence and Attentiveness

   To what extent am I truly present to others—attentive, receptive, and engaged? Who in my life may experience me as distracted, hurried, or only partially available?

10. Stable Growth in Love

    What concrete structure or discipline is the Lord inviting me to adopt so that growth in love becomes stable and sustained (e.g., a daily examen, intentional practices of affirmation, greater recollection, or specific relational commitments)?

Small Group Discussion Questions

(1) Receiving Before Giving (Love of God)

Summary: We cannot generate love on our own—we can only give what we have first received from God.

Question: Where in your life do you feel like you are trying to “produce” love (for God or others) rather than receive it? What might it look like to shift into receiving first?

(2) Noticing and Gratitude (Love of God)

Summary: Our love for God grows in proportion to our awareness of His love for us—especially through concrete experiences.

Question: Can you share a recent moment or experience where you now recognize God was loving you personally? What helps—or prevents—you from noticing His love in daily life

(3) Obstacles to Receiving God’s Love (Love of God)

Summary: Indifference, ingratitude, and lukewarmness block our ability to receive God’s love.

Question: Which of these obstacles—indifference, ingratitude, or lukewarmness—do you see most in your life right now? What does it actually look like in your day-to-day habits?

(4) Identity and Self-Love (Love of Self)

Summary: Authentic self-love is not self-affirmation, but coming into agreement with our God-given identity.

Question: What do you tend to base your worth on (success, productivity, approval, etc.)? How does that affect the way you treat yourself—and others?

(5) Self-Rejection and Its Effects (Love of Self)

Summary: When we reject ourselves, we struggle to receive love—from others and from God—and our love becomes distorted.

Question: In what ways do you find it difficult to receive affirmation or love from others? How might that be connected to how you see yourself?

(6) Interior Conflict and Projection (Love of Self → Love of Neighbor)

Summary: Often, what frustrates us most in others reflects something we struggle with or reject in ourselves.

Question: Is there a type of person or behavior that consistently irritates you? Is it possible that this connects to something in your own life or struggles?